Endings

It is Saturday, July 30th.  This morning was officially my last day to sleep in before I return to school on Monday.  Why is it that I get this sad feeling at the end of every summer?  Sometimes I sit and think about the things I wish I had done, like eat at our favorite breakfast place in Atlanta or take a day trip to the lake.  Then I sit and think some more, but now about how much work it is to be a teacher.  In case you don't know, it's a lot of work.

Don't get me wrong.  I love teaching.  I love seeing "my" kids every day.  I am excited to get big hugs from prior students and hear their first impressions of their new teachers.

All of those things are well and good, but I will miss summer. I will miss the sense of feeling relaxed and like I do not have to rush to accomplish my tasks.

But typing that last sentence, I had to stop and think.  Did I really feel that way this summer?  Did I ever truly feel relaxed?  Maybe a little bit, at my most delusional.  All summer, no- all year, there has been this dark cloud hanging over my head: grad school.  It is a hard feeling to describe.  Even when I'm out with family or watching a show on Netflix, there is still the looming thought of the latest paper or discussion post I need to write.  Right now I'm putting off writing a ridiculously long lesson plan that requires me to find nine different books on the same topic for three different reading levels.  No big.

I think that if other people were to read my previous post and this one, they would think I was a big complainer.  "Abby," they'd say, "you are lucky to be in grad school and learn more about your profession."  Why yes, I agree.  I am lucky.  But does it make sense that right now I don't feel lucky?  I feel like I am dragging my feet across the finish line.  I feel like a marathoner who ran out of gas and is literally hobbling towards the finish covered in blood, sweat, and tears.  Well, maybe not the blood, but definitely the other two.

Long story short, I will miss summer.  I will not miss grad school.  Twenty-two days and counting...feels like forever, but I will be done before I know it.
  

Grad School is Winning

I started grad school on August 31, 2015.  I knew it would be difficult and that I would be busy, but...holy cow.  Grad school is completely kicking my butt.  I have successfully finished four classes, and that number will go up to six when final grades are posted next week.  I have one week off, then my summer semester starts.

Don't be fooled by me saying that I have successfully completed almost six classes.  Yes, I finished my coursework.  Yes, the grades are fine.  But, does living in constant stress and frustration count as successful?  I feel bad for my students this year, for Mr. Biz, and for myself.  None of us are getting as much as we need. 

There are four classes standing between me and "graduation" (can it be called graduation if I don't attend?), but it sure doesn't feel that way.  It feels like an eternity of papers and discussions and APA formatting lies between me and August 21, 2016.  In my head I know that day will be here before I know it, but my heart is throwing a fit.  

Note to self: do not go back to school.  Ever.  Again. 

Note to others who may happen to read: I'm fine.  I'm easily frustrated, I cry a bit more, and I am continually tired, but I'm fine.  This is only a season.  I am doing this for the future little Bonds family.  If you are familiar with my church, then know that I am in the B-Zone.  I refuse to Q-Zone.  I am looking forward to the C-Zone, and then a trip to Chicago. 

Work Work Work

I feel like I'm at a point in my life where it's all about work.  Other than spending time with Mr. Biz and going to church, work monopolizes all of my time.  Now, I'm not saying that this is necessarily a good or a bad thing.  I'm truly not sure.  When else in my life will I have this much time and energy?  I see the working moms I teach with and I honestly have no idea how they make it work.  When I have children will I even want to continue teaching?  I guess we'll wait and see.

Right now, I am in my third year teaching first grade at CES.  The amount of growth I've made in the past few years is astounding.  After college graduation in 2010, I thought I was completely prepared to teach.  Needless to say, I was wrong.  I'm sure when I look back on my current teaching in five years I'll see much more growth.  I do enjoy my job, but the amount of time, effort, and mental sharpness that is required is already beginning to wear me down.  Can anyone make it 30 years in teaching anymore?  Standards continue rising and accelerating.  The kids are the same, but we are expecting so much more.  Is that fair to them?  To us?

I don't think so.

Yet here I am, pushing on, pushing my students to succeed.  Mostly loving it, but sometimes not so much.  Here's to the teachers.  Keep on keeping on.

Life

Life has a way of getting busy and staying that way for a long time.  This blog hasn't seen any action for almost two years, which is not very surprising.  The past two years have been quite busy: marriage, teaching, church, and everyday life.

About a week ago I remember thinking that something momentous had happened that I should write down; not really so that other people could read it, but so that I could remember it.  And now, a week later, my brain is so full with other things that I cannot remember what it is.  Sigh.  Grown up life.

I guess a new goal for me could be to write down big things: things I want to remember in 5 years.  Looking back on old posts, I'm glad I wrote down the "small" things.  It's nice to remember what I was thinking and feeling post-college and pre-marriage.  Those years kinda feel like a blur and I honestly don't remember much other than working.

Here's to writing it all down.  For the memories.

SheMoves Atlanta 5k 2013

Last year I had a great time running the SheMoves 5k, so I decided to give it another go this year.  The race takes place about 7 miles from my house, and it is in the park where Austin works--very convenient!  I knew that a PR wasn't in my future for this race, due to my lack of real training over the past couple of months, but I knew that simply running the race would be fun!

It was a nice, cloudy morning, perfect for a 3.1 mile run with 178 of my lady friends.  I love that feeling at the beginning of the race when everyone is tensed up and ready to go!  The run was nothing hugely amazing; the race route was practically identical to my twice weekly group run route, so I knew what to expect.  I made sure to go out slowly and kept a steady pace for the first two miles.  After that, I took a couple short walking breaks in order to reserve energy for the loooong hill that leads towards the finish line.  There's nothing like a strong finish!  And I cannot deny it: I love "flying" past other folks while running up hills.  That's why you'll see me walking right before the hill, and then letting the dust fly on the nasty uphills. 

My whole family (Austin, Mom, Dad, sisters) were at the finish to cheer me on, which always spurs me on to give it that last little bit.  I told Austin that I was going to finish this race with nothing left in the tank, which I did.  I'm proud of my effort, and although I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish I'd PR'd, I know that I did my best for where I am at right now. 

Finishing strong at 35:29!

Me and my #1 fan.  :]

I am now pondering signing up for my first 10k, the Big Peach Sizzler on September 2nd, and maybe another 5k in September so I can try to PR.  This summer is already full of running and training; I'm excited to see how much I can grow as a runner before school starts back up. 

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P.S.- Last year I posted my race day playlist.  Here is what I ran to this year:

Dance Again- Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull (my only repeat song from last year)
Holding My World- Kristian Stanfill
Good Time- Owl City and Carly Rae Jespen
Die Young- Ke$ha
I Believe in a Thing Called Love- The Darkness
On Top of the World- Imagine Dragons (new favorite song...I timed it to when I'd be feeling tired)
Wavin' Flag (Coca-Cola Celebration Mix)- K'naan
Back in Black- AC/DC
Seven Nation Army- The White Stripes
Magic- B.o.B f. Rivers Cumo (great song to finish with)

Summer!

As my husband so lovingly likes to remind me, yes, it is still technically spring.  BUT to every teacher I know, summer begins the day I walk out those school doors and into two months of freedom.*

My goal is to have a relaxing and fun summer without doing a whole lot of anything.  Austin gave me The Pioneer Woman Cookbook for my birthday, so I am planning to try out many of those recipes and see which ones are easy enough to replicate during the school year.  Other than that, I think our summer will consist of running, reading, and lots and lots of ice cream.  :]  Here's what we've been up to so far.

The face of an excited teacher leaving for the summer.

Lots and lots of ice cream...

Relaxing after the last day of post-planning.  Drinking Diet Coke with my feet propped up.

The proper way to celebrate the successful end of the school year: Starbucks.

First duo run of the summer on Memorial Day.

Super quick (free!) overnight visit to Helen.  So relaxing!

Here's to lots more summer fun with my main man!


*Well, not exactly "freedom."  I do have a week of math training...and an in-service for new teachers...and getting ready for next year.  We will just call it a less stressful busyness.  :]

Our Trip to Chattanooga

Austin and I just got back from a short trip to Chattanooga.  It is so nice to be able to get out and go somewhere once in a while!  We arrived on Sunday and enjoyed a walk all around the city before stopping at Mellow Mushroom for some delicious pizza. 

Waiting for our yummy pizza!

Gorgeous weather the whole time we were there!

On Monday we enjoyed sleeping in (what a concept!!!) and then headed to the Tennessee Aquarium.  One of my favorite things about our hotel is that it was only half a mile from the aquarium, so it was super easy to walk everywhere.  There's just something special about walking hand-in-hand with your husband.  :]

Of course we had to find Nemo.

Crazy lookin' fish.  I had fun imagining what all the fish were saying while we watched them.  #kidatheart

Aww, so cute.  ;]

Not gonna lie: I kinda bullied him into doing the touch tank.  It is quite the unique opportunity!

Austin's favorite part.  My favorites were the otters. 

Date day in the city!  jacket: Old Navy, dress: Target, purse: Target a few years ago, sandals: Tevas

Probably my favorite picture from the whole trip.

After the aquarium we got to enjoy some free Coldstone thanks to Austin's sister!  We'd been holding on to that giftcard since Christmas.  :]

Mine: cheesecake ice cream and fresh strawberries; Austin's: chocolate brownie froyo, coconut, and almonds

Walking around to work off our ice cream.

Next was a stop by the IMAX theater to see "The Last Reef."  It was cool and Austin really enjoyed it, but I think my days of watching 3D movies are over.  I started feeling sick 20 minutes into the film and didn't feel better until we'd been outside for 30 minutes.  Does anyone else get sick watching 3D movies?  Or am I just really strange?  (ok, maybe both, haha)

So once I was feeling a bit more normal, we ate dinner at Mellow Mushroom (again).  I didn't really feel like walking around a lot to find somewhere, so we just went with old faithful.  Austin always pretends to be surprised when I say I love pizza...but really, no surprise there.  Post-dinner fun included walking over some bridges and checking out the art district once again.  See how lame I sound when I say this: art is really cool!

Chattanooga!

Loving the sunshine and each other (cue the "awws").

Probably our favorite statue: Icarus.

Our hotel.

Tuesday morning found my husband on a long run over the aforementioned bridges and me chilling and enjoying the HGTV in our hotel room.  Once he arrived back and we checked out, we drove across the river to have brunch at a place I saw on Yelp, Aretha Frankenstein's.  The place was really cool, and the food made up for the really long wait.

So all in all, we had a fantastic start to our spring break.  I'd say there is nothing better than escaping for a few days to a new-ish place with the one you love.  Now, here's to some more adventures before the week is up!